Pattern Recognition

A topic I always find myself revisiting; the circle concept. It's yet another example of something that I have given in as having an inherent bias, therefore unable to fully deconstruct.Try to create randomness: it isn't possible. But live in a world of random consequence; even though that is exactly what we live in we are still drawn by a magnetic urge to attach importance to it. Even just putting words down now I find myself asking the question "what is the fucking point?!"Maybe that is where I am ending up now? Personally I fight tooth and nail for creating order, most often to my own advantage and ends. Obviously, in ordered systems (where I fucking excel) pattern recognition just fucking works but it rarely (if ever) works in the random subset of life and lately it seems I can't seem to attach importance enough to a topic to give it more than a second thought. At times it seems to grow at a break neck pace until it explodes and I'm left picking up the pieces again...picking up dignity and wasting time on remorse and shame that upon second glance shouldn't have existed in the first place. The circle of life I suppose. At least I do have fun from time to time but mostly now, it's tiring, boring, and fucking stupid."Teenage angst has paid off well, Now I'm bored and old."Serve the Servants - Kurt Cobain